Im turning over a new leaf. If you cant do it yourself, get help. I am determined to be in the best shape of my life this summer. Sometimes you just need a verbal compliment, it helps when its from a buff man named Jesse.
Having to admit to your very bad eating habits is eye opening and can be embarrassing especially when chef and peanut butter are in the same sentence. 

I also made a compulsive late night online purchase of sunless tanner, go ahead judge me. But before you do you should know i'm trying to replace my tanning bed addiction with lotion. The only bad thing is that now my hands are stained this very unnatural brown. I almost want to explain why my hands look like i just dunked them in brown paint, but then i stop before having to admit to using sunless tanner. Its not that i'm embarrassed about using it but want people to think its natural. haha.

So ive been thinking about patterns that people have with dating and my own patterns. My best friend said the other day, "Im always quick to fall in love and even quicker to fall out" That rang so true, how often are we so caught up in a guys good looks and huge cut arms that after that initial attraction wears off we lose interest. I often think about relationships the same way i think about child birth, "if other woman can do it, so can i". But when the Mr Right boils down to the Mr Real i avoid it all together, its messy its emotional, it requires vulnerability and loss of control. I tell myself that just because he doesn't drink coffee he isn't The One. But in the end it really isn't about giving up tall dark and handsome but more about being with someone that totally FITS you and shares your values. I WANT a tall guy but i NEED a guy who loves Jesus. Here is the thing, you ALWAYS want what you cant have and so when you portray these unrealistic fantasies that no man can meet you lose hope that there is a Mr Right.