My dearest Grandfather, more affectionately known as white papa, (because of his hair color, and my other papa we called grey papa) passed away last week. Although my heart just breaks in two and i cant control the tears i know he is happy and well and singing at the feet the Jesus. I felt the sadness even more because i no longer have a living grandfather. Loss always makes you wish and want more time with them, to dabble in the their past and laugh about your future. I was fortunate enough to have gone home only two days before he passed and to spend time with him in his last days, even if he didnt have words to say, i knew he could hear me, and feel me in his room. I am grateful for that hour i spent with White Papa. 

Suffering and sadness are part of life, and i may think i couldn't possibly get any more sad but the truth is, i will. I dont know when or over what, but im glad that these sad moments dont define me. That eventually i will be able to look back and remember the good times without the pang of sadness. Because even while i am sad there are still beautiful and perfect moments to remember, so i won't let the tears and heartbreak be the end but the beginning.